AUTHOR: Hello, Numan, I’m so glad you appeared today. You know, a request for your interview came through on one of my social media platforms.
[He stares at my study walls, squinting his eyes at a discrepancy near the ceiling]
NUMAN: Needs repaired – it would only take a few hours to fix. How can you sit there typing with such a wound on the wall? Scuffs over there, and what looks like a gouge by the closet. You should be more proactive about these things.
AUTHOR: I suppose you’re right, but once I spackle, then sand, and paint… it makes me tired just thinking about it. Not why you are here, at all, unless you’re offering?
NUMAN: No, no, I work on a grand scale, not minor repairs. Plus, not to state the obvious, but I live in your head – I’m only your imagination, silly Author. She thinks he’s real! Excuse me, pesky Voices, you know. Always offering up their two-cents.
[I expected such outbursts, but hearing Numan’s voice alter into the She is shocking]
AUTHOR: So the Voices followed you here but not to the Isle of Fey?
NUMAN: Sly said you wanted info from Vol.1… She’s breaking the rules! Don’t expect me to have all the answers – you’re the lunatic who created our world…or did you? Iris may say it’s entirely possible that we exist on a multidimensional plane, like the Never, and you, somehow, managed to steal a peak into our realm. Meaning, we exist. Period. You just watched our events play out in your small, calculating mind.
AUTHOR: Interesting. Sure, quantum possibilities are wicked cool, but let’s not make it too difficult for our Readers. If you’d elaborate on the Never, mayhap some details of the novel may become clearer.
NUMAN: Right, so it all starts with lucid dreaming. Do you attain lucidity? Of course, you can – you just won’t…you like your objective stance too much. Or, rather, you feel trapped by it from researching evolution. We all know about you, Milady. You admire science, but you don’t know the first thing about it. Why not stick to Art? Why praise those you’ll never understand?
AUTHOR: The Readers aren’t interested in my thought processes or weird obsessions. Tell me about the Never, please.
NUMAN: Start with a wristwatch. Wear one to bed. While dreaming, make yourself look at the watch. This is all about mind-control – for the self, I mean – control your subconscious to tap into the super-conscious. She knows! She learned it tri-fold – mythology, psychology, philosophy. We know that, She, but the Readers – think of the audience for Reason’s sake.
AUTHOR: So, wear a watch. Why not a bracelet?
NUMAN: Time. One needs time to work the trick. See, time is a rational device. The subconscious mind can’t control it, unlike its ability to control you. Time doesn’t flow right in the Never – or dreamland – and bringing a concrete thing into flexible realm shatters illusions. Call it the ID if you want, but logic contradicts with unreality. Look at the watch in your dream, and you’ll notice the numbers refuse behaving logically. 11:25 will jump to 2:03, then 5:56 and so on. The subconscious is busy creating everything. It can’t grasp time.
[He lights the slim cigarillo that’s been wedged between his teeth; I stifle a cough]
NUMAN: Once you get the hang of it – practice makes perfect even in the unreal – you don’t physically need the watch. Your dream-self will constantly wear one. When one knows they’re in the Never, then they usurp control. You can dream what you want, see who you desire, and make them give into your private demands.
AUTHOR: Excellent. So, I could, theoretically, meet with Anton?
NUMAN: Must everyone be obsessed with our anarchist?! Not sure why you haven’t summoned him yet – are you shy?
AUTHOR: I told you already, your interview was requested.
NUMAN: Tell yourself whatever you want, lady smartass.
AUTHOR: Besides, Anton’s interview presents an additional challenge, for reasons I do not wish to state at this moment. Spoilers ruin suspense.
NUMAN: She likes her secrets! Wicked, just like Iris!
[This time, it was the He, booming in a deep baritone]
NUMAN: Should be a mighty trick calling on Damian, then. Ha! Do you even regret the terrible burdens you shove upon us?
AUTHOR: Of course I do. I love all of you. When [OMITTED] was murdered, I had to stop writing for three-days. I cried so much it made me sick. But the story demanded it be so – you think I have all the power… falsity, I’m slave to the story.
[I pause because I still regret X’s death]
NUMAN: Let’s talk about something else, I can see you’re upset. Additionally, I won’t pick at the scabs you bear for my own suffering. What will you write next?
AUTHOR: It’s hard to see such things. I want to finish Vol.3’s edits first, and finalize formatting for Vol.2. It happens to be with an editor right now. But I did start researching the concept of “changelings.”
NUMAN: A real editor, instead of one of your alternate heads? Bravo, Milady!
AUTHOR: Yes, I’m fortunate – the salon provides some fantastic connections. Hobie has Vol.2 now, and he plans on returning the copy soon for my approval and updates. Still aiming for publication on 13 October.
NUMAN: I’m not in Vol.2 much, but I won’t take it personally. I already know Iris wanted full perspective. Although, I can’t say I’m happy with what you put her through.
AUTHOR: Again, the demands of story. My hands are tied. Sometimes, family is not cookie-cutter happiness that the real-world would have one believe. Iris had to confront her heritage and choose her own path. Just like we all do. You should be pleased I haven’t made you examine your own genetic secrets.
NUMAN: Don’t speak on it – I’m not ready to discover myself in that way. Besides, you’d need travel to China to truly understand my plight, and we all know you lack the fortitude for hiking mountains in harsh terrains.
AUTHOR: Indeed…but I have Julia – another salon connection. She’s well-versed in Chinese travels and customs. I bet she even knows a Tibetan Monk.
[Rolls his eyes and ashes his cigarillo]
NUMAN: Fine. Exploit my pain and suffering – not permission, just a statement that I know you will do whatever you want. You’re a selfish, daresay evil, creature.
AUTHOR: “Evil” is a weak term. The curious ones all own fantastical backstories. Don’t push me, or I’ll expound on the trilogy, granting you each a novel of your own.
NUMAN: Threats and villainy! You don’t scare me. I know what you’re capable of, and I bet your Readers would love to know how the Voices came to be…they haunted me before the manor, after all. The manor proper only makes them louder. More obnoxious – especially Ivar and you-know-who.
AUTHOR: Beelzebub is not Beetlejuice. He won’t appear if we say his name aloud.
[He breaks out in a cold sweat, with his eyes clouding over. I can smell his fear]
NUMAN: We can’t be certain of that. Look, I hate to be rude… well, that’s not true … but I’m out like spandex. Future tip: don’t make us uncomfy or we won’t maintain form.
AUTHOR: Numan, wait…
[He vanishes, leaving behind the strong odor of cigar smoke and resentment]
